1. If you’ve ever stared deeply into the eyes of your significant other for more than 10 seconds without cracking up hysterically … you may be in love.

2. If every person in your life tells you that she/he’s no good and you’re mailman, pharmacist and local news station agrees, yet you think they are “just jealous” … you may be in love.

3. Guys: if you’ve taken the pictures of the other women in you’re life off the walls, like the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition posters, Playmate of the month calendar, Monster Truck Rally 2005 … you may be in love.

4. Ladies: men can produce excessive amounts of eye watering, nose burning noxious odor from almost any food or drink, and then aren’t above sharing it with others, especially at night. Knowing all this, and you STILL want to sleep in the same bed with him … you may be in love.

5. If your significant other asks you how they look in their new retro polyester lime green outfit and you say they look hot … you may be in love…. or you have a really strong self preservation instinct.

6. Guys: if you’ve ever given up washing and waxing that new car you just bought to watch “Sleepless in Seattle” with you’re girlfriend/wife for the 20th time … you may be in love.

7. If you always remember every anniversary and birthday of your partner, and you’re not female … you may be in love.

8. If you think the underwear and socks you get for your birthday and Christmas every year is a pleasant surprise … you may be in love.

1. Snails can sleep up to 3 years.
Not so amazing actually since I managed to sleep thru 6 years of jr. high and high school. And when you think about it, what do snails have to do all their lives? Sure, they leave great slime trails and make excellent targets for salt shakers and little boys, but other than that there’s not much more to do but sleep after an exhausting run across a sidewalk.

2. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
Until I read this, I was convinced that there was an olive missing from my salad, yet no one would believe me. Now I am vindicated! I am now searching for proof that the airlines have taken one peanut from each bag .. I’ll keep you posted.

3. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
After reading this, I realized that I know of many people with the same problem! But that’s an article about politicians I’m working on. For me, it’s usually that my eyes are bigger than my stomach…

4. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
Well, I’d like to see anyone keep this up long enough to actually lose 150 calories. Now that I think about it, I DON’T want to see…

5. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants.
This is completely understandable.. I mean, who wants to look at a duck with no pants on? Besides, I understand that it is the law for all birds to wear pants in the city limits of Finland.

6. If you pass gas consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
I tried to prove or disprove this, but two things stopped me … I couldn’t stand to look at a bowl of chili after the third day, and my girlfriend threatened to leave me … although it was kinda hard to tell what she was really saying with that gasmask on.

7. In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
Now, this piece of trivia leaves ALOT to the imagination, which is probably a good thing. BUT, I would like to point out, you’d have to be pretty limber to get some on those hairs .. nuff said.

8. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
I know this trivia fact isn’t true ’cause I’ve gone drinking with my ants several times and I’ve watched them fall over in several different directions… usually they tend to fall on my uncles tho.

9. The average human eats eight spiders in their lifetime at night.
I don’t know about this fact … I’ve seen several spiders at night and never once felt compelled to eat one. Though I hear that spider is tasty if barbequed correctly.

10. And now for our final fun trivia fact:
Some lions mate over 50 times a day… No wonder the females do all the work.

Being the cynics that you are, I know you’re probably asking: “Why should I send you $1.00? I barely even know you. If I hadn’t somehow stumbled onto this article I wouldn’t even have known that you exist. I still don’t know how I came across this ridiculous article, I was trying to find my brother-in-law’s blog.”

Since I know that humanoids are by nature untrusting, and I know that you can spare the dollar, I will now generously provide 8 reasons why you should immediately paypal me a buck. I don’t think I’ll need more than 5 reasons but I like to give people their money’s worth. Plus I have a word count to think about. So without further ado:

(1) Sending me $1.00 will keep you from spending it on something pointless like the mortgage payment. You’ve been faithfully paying on that mortgage for years-it’s time you had a break. And it’ll only cost you a single greenback.

(2) Donating to a worthy cause can give you peace of mind which, in turn, will help you to sleep better at night. Giving me a dollar may not be as worthy a cause as, say, giving to the Red Cross, but I promise I will sleep better tonight and many nights thereafter if you send me that dollar.

(3) If I were sitting in front of a gas station smelling of cheap wine and wearing the same clothes I had on when I lost my job 8 months ago, you wouldn’t even consider giving me a dollar. You would probably tell me to: “Get a Job, ya bum”, and then rapidly walk away, clutching your wallet tightly. I, however, am not sitting in front of a gas station, I’m sitting in front of my television. And I changed clothes 2 days ago.

(4) I need to buy some Bling Bling! You’re just not in the game if you don’t have diamonds in your ears and ice on your neck and wrists. Plus I know a guy who’ll give me a great deal on some gold teeth. But I need more cheese.

(5) Many great artist in history have depended on donations to finance their masterpieces. Your sending me $1.00 will allow me to do the necessary research for a masterpiece of an article that I’m working on called: ‘Going Out on Saturday Night and Getting Sloppy Drunk Using Other People’s Money’. I’ll be sure to acknowledge you at the end.

(6) Fellas, would you rather send me a dollar or have your wife spent it on yet another pair of black heels? Ladies, would you rather your husbands spend it on another one of those magazines that he keeps in that box in his workshop? I thought not.

(7) Time is money. You’re already wasting money by taking time to read this article. Another George Washington won’t kill you.

(8) The pens and paper I use to write these articles don’t pay for themselves. My high speed internect connection that I use to upload these articles isn’t free. I don’t think $1.00 is too much to ask after the scores of articles I have written and shared with all of cyberspace. After all, if it wasn’t for my articles you wouldn’t appreciate the good articles written by others.

So there you have it folks. 8 reasons to send me $1.00 via Paypal. As I suspected most of you were sold after Reason #5. I appreciate you waiting patiently until I finished with the remaining Reasons before rushing over to Paypal.com. Now that I have finished listing my reasons feel free to login and send your $1.00 to mariodemagalhaes@sapo.pt. And please hurry, the guy with the gold teeth isn’t going to have those great deals forever…

It was during those days, when I was looking for a job change and busy scheduling and attending interviews. My parents had some plan to go out of the town to attend a wedding, a day before my mom reminded me about my interview. She knew that I am into a good habit of getting ready at the eleventh hour. They had a midnight flight, after bidding them goodbye I dozed off again. I was at ease because I knew that my maid will ring the doorbell early in the morning and I will wake up on time.

But to my hard luck she didn’t turn up that day, somehow I woke up with a scream after a nightmare. I dreamt that i am stuck in a massive traffic jam and had picked up a fight with someone. The clock stuck eight and I jumped out of the bed as my interview was scheduled at 10am. Totally perplexed about how to begin my morning chores, I messed up the entire thing. It was all haywire; it was hard for me to understand what to do next. Brushing was all I could do. I had no idea where mom had kept my tie, my files, my bag etc. God knows what will happen to me today. I locked the door and ran out of my flat, struggling to knot the tie with holding my file in one hand, my shoe in other.

As soon as the lift opened, I saw the bombshell of our apartment, wearing a tee with “Guess” printed at front. I guessed it right hundred times but no prize till now. Anyways, she smiled at me and chuckled while I finished dressing up in the lift. After coming to the ground floor, while moving towards my car… I realized that I forgot the car keys. Rushed back to the lift but wasn’t fortunate enough, as it was going up. So took the stairs for the sixth floor.

It was already nine and I was getting terribly late, somehow after hitting the road I met with a huge traffic jam on the main road. No no I wasn’t dreaming this time but got scared as I had a similar nasty dream last night. As usual I could not understand the reason for this jam but it was there and growing. Can’t help it! I saw a Mercedes driven by a middle-aged lady, could not see her much but we had an eye contact through the looking glass.

Let me tell you that I have no good experience with women drivers. I simple don’t want to come on their way while driving. She was on her phone call till quite sometime (I was observing her activities) and after she finished talking, it was her make-up next, no doubt she must have spent a minimum of 30 minutes at home for make-up like all other women do, next was lighting up a cigarette followed by playing loud music on stereo. Her phone ranged again and she was busy taking when the traffic moved.

She didn’t realize it for some time, when I honked hard she came to back to her senses. No sooner did she start the car, it stopped with a jerk. God why we have woman drivers! By the time, I could move any further it was a red light stop. She saw me from the looking glass again; I had a blank expression on my face, which means as if I am silently asking her “what’s wrong with you”. I could hear the music from her car; I was prepared to honk her again if she doesn’t start on time. As soon as the light turned green, she starts off after sensing my frustration but could hardly moved an inch before she rammed her car with other due to rush. Again the traffic came to stand still. She had a heated exchange of dialogue with the driver of that car but the traffic police came and fined her.

My car was standing still there without moving an inch, what a terrible day it was. I was running late and was witnessing an entire melodramatic situation in middle of the road. Finally, I crossed the red light and was still following her. All of a sudden she applied the brakes, it was close shave as I was about to hit her car from back at a great speed. Why we have women drivers at all! The reason for her stop this time, as far as I could make out, was flat tyre. Before moving further, I said, “why don’t you join your driving classes again, a few lessons is all you need”. It was at this time we saw each other’s face.

When I reached the office for the interview, I was 30 minutes late already but to my good luck the director was not in. Thank god, it was a real sigh of relief. After waiting for an hour, the HR manager guided me inside the director’s cabin. I opened the door, and shocked to see the person inside……rest you can well make a guess… ya you got it right…

The following day, I was out for a long drive to forget the last day incident, suddenly a car overtook mine, this time I saw a girl driving with a graffiti “follow me” I took a U- Turn and came back home.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Vinod_Karan_Singh

Vinod Karan Singh – EzineArticles Expert Author

On that day years ago, as we watched the students file past, one of my more seasoned colleagues, who was also my mentor, turned to me and said, “Graduation will be one of the happiest and one of the saddest times of your life.”

When I inquired why it would the one of the saddest, he very somberly answered, “Because some of the students you have gotten to know have to leave.”

When I asked him why it would also be one of the happiest, he grinned. “Because some of the students you have gotten to know have to leave.”

As the procession of students ended, we marched to join them in the auditorium, filling the seats reserved for us. As the commencement droned on, my colleague reached inside the bell sleeves of his graduation robe, pulling out a book of differential equations from one and popcorn from the other. His quiet munching and flipping of pages soon drew my attention away from the redundant words which were meant to inspire.

But my colleague’s words that day are etched deep into my mind. When I come across the infrequent student that is belligerent, almost daring a person to teach him, I have had to rethink why I chose to be a teacher. It obviously isn’t the money. This was brought home to me some time ago, when a former computer science student of mine called me, informing me of his job at Nintendo Corporation. His starting wage was higher than my current one, though I have more education than he has and I have worked for more than a decade. He said he knew that with my programming skills, he could get me hired, and then added, “…and the best part is after programming, we get to play the game for six months to test it.”

I thanked him, but declined his kind offer, remembering an event that had happened years earlier in a class I had taken. We were given the assignment of working on our own obituary, not as we were then, but as we hoped our life would play out. That has colored many of the decisions I have made through the years. I couldn’t envision the epitaph on my headstone saying, “He loved to play games”.

My mind returned to just a few days before this current graduation. While I was working on final grades, I had found a note a student had slipped in with her homework. She thanked me for being her teacher and said the things she had learned in my class – not about math, but about life – would be things she would remember long after the math skills had faded away. As I finished reading her note, I remembered why I had become a teacher.

Now, on this sunny graduation day, as I again observed the sea of blue caps and gowns, I did so with renewed dedication and a deeper sense of satisfaction. The next semester will arrive again with its new challenges and with a new batch of eager young students, and I will, as always, be grateful I am a teacher.

By

Daris Howard
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Daris_Howard

http://onecrazyoffice.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Matt_Howard

This well-known funny prank is best reserved for friends you know pretty well. It’s also good for family members who will love you no matter what you do to them. When you’re in a crowded department store, you just turn to your victim and exclaim “Who ARE you? And WHY do you keep following me?” Other popular variations include “NO, I will NOT hold your hand” and “I know you miss your mommy, but we’ll be home soon!” Comments of this nature will get your victim quite a few strange looks. This can be quite hilarious, especially if your friend has a good sense of humor.

3) Set up a booby trap

Booby trap pranks are always a classic  You set an object up to fall as soon as your victim walks into or out of a place. A wonderful example is setting up your ice cube trays at an incline, in order to stage an ice cream container avalanche from the freezer. You could also rig a mannequin to fall out of a closet when it’s opened. As you can see, you can get quite creative with this one, especially around Halloween. That’s when there are plenty of creepy plastic spiders and skeletons for sale at local stores.

4) Watch your back

After you pull a funny prank on someone, you should beware of one thing: payback. If your prank is particularly good, it is definitely going to warrant a revenge attack. So my advice is to be prepared. And don’t say I didn’t warn you.

For more information on funny pranks, jokes, and cartoons, check out Family Fun Cartoons today!

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shaina_Monfils

Matt Howard
http://onecrazyoffice.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Matt_HowardBest

So what makes us laugh?

Humans are laughing to all things that makes them funny, sometimes one thing is funny to you but not funny to your friend. Here are some examples what makes us laugh: Stupid people: A stupid guy from New York had to say sorry to everyone after dressing up as a large penis during a graduation ceremony. Story’s like this makes us laugh, and we always feel sorry for a guy, but we still laugh at him and hes stupid work.

Funny Names: Al Kaholic, Dick Trickle, Nick Carrs, Trish Fish, Utits Besaggy. There are many funny names, but Al Kaholic is one of unique and very funny name, wonder if this guy drinks.

Funny Jokes: A lonely frog, desperate for any form of company telephoned the Psychic Hot line to find out what his future has in store. His Personal Psychic Adviser advises him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog is thrilled and says, “This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?” “No” says the psychic, “in a Biology class.”

or

A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands withdrew the message. “Due to lack of maintenance,” he read, “we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account.”

If you didn’t laugh at this two jokes or at least put a smiley on your face then something is wrong with you or your having a very bad day.

Funny Pictures: Pictures with funny signs, naked people, funny peoples faces, crazy or drunk people, they all make us laugh.

Black Humor: One of most popular category of humor, its humor where someone get insulted, someone get hurt in some not so funny but funny way, people getting hit by cars, peoples accidents. This all make us humans laugh.

And at last one of most things that make us laugh lately are funny videos. Everyone can share funny videos online, everyone can enjoy funny videos on websites that host videos. You just need to go to website and type funny videos, you will get many awesome and funny videos. But to get real laugh on such videos I suggest you type words “Drunk Maniac”.

We know to what we laugh, but why we laugh is still mystery. Maybe we are laughing to feel some relief after many hours at work. I really wonder if humans before Christ have laugh. Wonder if they had jokes and funny things like we do have now. We will never know this, but all I can tell at end is, laugh people and have fun every day, you never know when all this circus could end.

My name is Davor Puklek and I’m well known online by nickname dadaas.

More funny websites: http://www.htportal.org For more funny animal things you can go and visit http://www.funnyanimalsvideo.org

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Davor_Puklek